I'm feeling a little gut-punched. Finally got to meet my new rheumatologist (my old one transferred out of town) and she's great. However, I wasn't thrilled after the first appointment. She did labs and staged my CKD at 3b.
What???
I'm thankful that I was doing my own research about foods and such. In just the few weeks since my scary labs (where my eGFR was something like 27), things improved somewhat with the new labs. My eGFR is up to 32.1. Also, my creatinine is down - just by a little, but still.
I had a full day of deep depression. I couldn't think or eat or sleep. Right now, I'm in a "this is my life now" mode. I just want to do what I can to keep things as they are or better. No more getting worse, if I can help it.
And I am mad. I'm mad at myself for not getting serious about this before now. I'm mad at the kidney doctors from the past for not helping me to realize I needed to be more serious. I didn't even really understand the different stages until I did my own research. I was still taking aspirin every day. I didn't know that aspirin isn't great for my kidneys. I already mentioned how I didn't know how bad some "healthy" foods are for CKD patients.
At any rate, this is my health - not my docs - so I am going to be asking so many more questions and demanding more information. I definitely want a referral to a dietician now.
This is so frustrating.
Anyway. Here I am. CKD 3b. As if this damn sarcoidosis and its treatments haven't touched on too many other parts of my health: my brain function, my skin, my teeth, my bones. Every time I adjust to one thing, something else pops up.
I'm trying hard to remain more grateful for the good than I am focused on the bad. I'm thankful for my faith and how it sustains me. I'm thankful for my amazing family. Even the sister of my late best friend has become part of my support system. And I am thankful for the good doctors - the ones who are blunt and honest and don't hold back.
I guess I just needed to vent. I'll be back to whine and fuss some more after I see the nephrologist next week...
Peace
--Free
